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1 + 1 = 3 ?

Apparemment, un coaching individuel se résume à un « one to one », à une rencontre entre deux personnes dont l’une est demandeuse et l’autre disposée à mettre en œuvre des compétences permettant à la première d’atteindre ses objectifs. Mais est-ce vraiment si simple ? Les apparences sont paraît-il souvent trompeuses. Plusieurs raisons me font dire que, en matière d’accompagnement, 1 + 1 = 3 : une troisième dimension vient en effet s’inviter et elle joue un rôle primordial dans le processus.
 
J’adhère tout d’abord aux propos de Jacques-Antoine Malarewicz[1] lorsqu’il avance que le troisième « larron » dans un accompagnement s’avère être le changement – et, par conséquent, le non-changement. Qu’elle soit « acheteuse », « touriste » ou « co-pilote », la personne accompagnée se comporte et se positionne en fonction d’un contrat, implicite ou explicite, dont l’objectif est de permettre à la personne d’opérer des modifications à des niveaux plus ou moins profonds, que cela soit sur son contexte ou, idéalement, sur elle-même.
 

Les enjeux se situent ainsi à deux niveaux : la volonté de (non-) changement du coaché et ma volonté de voir l’autre changer. Si, dans la première dimension, je me demande régulièrement dans quelle mesure je cautionne ou pas le désir de (non-) changement chez l’autre, la deuxième dimension requiert encore plus d’honnêteté de ma part : dans quelle mesure mes attentes vis-à-vis du changement d’autrui ne représentent-elles pas un frein voire un obstacle au coaching ? En effet, ce n’est pas parce que « ça » n’avance pas – sous entendu : comme j’aimerais que « ça » avance – que « ça » n’avance pas…


Selon Guy Le Bouëdec[2], un autre invité dans la relation coaché-coach s’avère être l’alliance entre les deux protagonistes, une danse à deux soutenue par une mélodie composée de notes comme la dignité et l’autonomie de chacun-e, la confiance réciproque, la confidentialité et la crédibilité des protagonistes.

Une dimension éthique et déontologique qui engage les partenaires du contrat dans leur humanité et leur intégrité. Dans ce sens, il m’arrive – pas assez souvent à mon goût – de méta-communiquer avec mon vis-à-vis au sujet de mes observations et de mon ressenti par rapport à ce que le langage verbal ou non-verbal de la personne accompagnée génère chez moi.
 
Quand par exemple, lors de la deuxième séance, je constate que ma cliente emprunte mon stylo pour effectuer une activité écrite car elle a, comme lors de notre première rencontre, oublié de prendre le sien, je lui fais part de mon constat ainsi que de ma surprise et lui demande : « qu’est-ce qui fait que vous écrivez votre nouvelle vie avec mon stylo ? ». Dans ce cas, la réflexion autour de cette question a été porteuse de fruits : lors de la rencontre suivante, la personne accompagnée a fait preuve d’une plus grande autonomie, tant au niveau de l’accompagnement que dans son contexte de vie.
 
Je terminerai cet article par évoquer les propos de Lytta Basset[3] qui, au moment du contrat initial, explicite qu’ « on n’est pas deux, mais trois » : la vie, tel un fleuve au cours imprévisible, est en effet omniprésente dans tout processus d’accompagnement. Lors de la première séance, j’ai  ainsi régulièrement recours à la phrase « je garantis les outils, mais pas le résultat : celui-ci vous appartient et il est également du ressort de la vie ».

Un « garde-fou » indispensable pour ma très humaine tendance à la Toute-Puissance et un gage d’humilité pour le duo, confronté ainsi à ses responsabilités et à ses limites.
 
Et si, au lieu de préparer deux verres d’eau en début de mon prochain entretien, j’en prévoyais un de plus ? Allez ! À trois, je me lance…
 


[1] Malarewicz, J.-A. (2011, 3 édition). Réussir son coaching. Une approche systémique. Orléans : Pearson Education France.
[2] Le Bouëdec, G. (2001). Une posture éducative fondée sur une éthique. Cahiers pédagogiques, n° 393, avril 2001, pp. 18-20.
[3] Basset, L. (2013). S’initier à l’accompagnement spirituel. Treize expériences en milieu professionnel. Genève : Labor et Fides.


Cet article est une version illustrée du billet du mois de septembre de Coaching-Services (http://www.coachingservices.ch/newsletter/1-1-3). La première et la dernière photographie sont celles d'une
création de Andreas Lewandowski intitulée"1+1=3 (A Meeting Between Two Creates Something New)" disponibles sur son site (http://www.andreaslewandowski.se/1-1-3)


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