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Le coach et l’âme : un paradoxe ?


« C’est dans le silence que l’âme entend. » (St Jean de la Croix)
 
« L'homme mérite qu'il se soucie de lui-même car il porte dans son âme les germes de son devenir » (Carl Gustav Jung)
 
À l’issue d’une récente inter vision entre coachs dans le cadre de Co-Action (plus sur : http://www.coaching-services.ch/groupe-intervision-co-action), les larmes sont montées, du plus profond de mon être.
 
Depuis plus de 7 ans que mon corps me signale la présence de mon âme de cette manière, je pense avoir appris à accueillir et à métaboliser ce signe de guérison. Sur le moment, la seule chose que mon esprit ait été capable d’exprimer, c’était que les questions et les retours – fort pertinents et sagaces à l’avenant – de mes pairs avaient touché quelque chose d’ontologique chez moi.
 
Je ressens le besoin d’y revenir aujourd’hui pour mieux comprendre ce qui s’est passé et, plus encore, déterminer ce que je peux ou veux en faire. Pour cela, je dois faire appel à un « mot-concept » qui m’est cher et pour lequel une clarification me semble nécessaire : l’âme. Il serait illusoire de tenter ici une synthèse intelligente de la vaste littérature qui s’est penchée sur ce terme. Je vais donc, de manière arbitraire j’en conviens, me limiter à quelques sources qui font écho à mes représentations, à ma sensibilité et à mon vécu.
 
Dans son ouvrage Le paradoxe de l’âme. Exil et retour d’un archétype (Genève, Georg Editeur, 1993), Diane Cousineau Brutsche, thérapeute canadienne, relève que « le terme "âme" est généralement employé plus ou moins comme synonyme du mot "psyché" et en conséquence dépouillé de la qualité qui lui est propre (…) Alors que la "psyché" (...) se réfère à la totalité des processus psychiques, l ' "âme" de son côté évoque une réalité plus spécifique, quelque chose que l'on pourrait définir comme un fonction particulière à l'intérieur de la psyché ; quelque chose aussi de plus subjectif et de plus affectif, en même temps qu'un caractère hautement numineux. ».
 
Liée à la fois à la réalité corporelle et spirituelle de chaque individu, l’âme revêt un caractère paradoxal : elle joue un rôle fondamental de médiatrice entre, d’un côté, le monde corporel, matériel, physique et sensoriel (« Le corps est le gant de l’âme » propose Annelie Keil) ET, de l’autre, une dimension qui nous dépasse, transcendée, immatérielle, symbolique et imaginaire.
 
Interrogée sur les étapes de la vie humaine par Psychologies Magazine (http://www.psychologies.com/Bien-etre/Prevention/Hygiene-de-vie/Interviews/Vieillir-c-est-aller-vers-soi), Viviane Thibaudier, thérapeute jungienne française, soutient  que chaque individu est « tiraillé entre des opposés (…) : les limites de notre personnalité ordinaire – le moi – et la conscience que ce que nous sommes profondément est bien plus vaste – le soi ». L’âme humaine représente donc ce point de rencontre, ce lieu où s’articulent la réalité concrète observable et la réalité invisible ; une entité à la fois biologique et spirituelle.
 
À la lumière de ce qui précède, je m’avance à interpréter ce qui s’est passé à l’issue de l’analyse de la situation-problème exposée par mes soins à mes collègues : un double mouvement, une sorte d’aller-retour pendulaire entre deux parties qui constituent mon identité interne et professionnelle.
 
D’une part, mon ego – tout puissant, orgueilleux et contrôlant – a vu d’un très mauvais œil le fait que quelqu’un d’autre que lui ait vu de manière si juste et apparemment si visible ce qui lui avait échappé : que ce qui se jouait au niveau tant du processus que des contenus de l’accompagnement en question était en fait un miroir de ses propres hésitations et doutes. Une réaction qui n’a fait que raviver une blessure narcissique certes cicatrisée mais toujours présente.
 
De l’autre, mon âme m’a signalé que « quelque chose » de très profond n’était pas suffisamment reconnu par moi-même et que je n’avais nul besoin de chercher une quelconque légitimité auprès d’autres personnes ou de prouver mes capacités : mes compétences ainsi que mon expérience de vie, notamment en lien avec mon odyssée intérieure de ces dernières années, devraient me donner l’autorisation et l’autorité de cheminer en confiance et d’oser être qui je suis en tant que coach, même si ce n’est pas toujours « orthodoxe » : le coaching n’est-il en effet pas un art et non une science exacte ?
 
Si je pars du principe que l’on ne peut accompagner une personne que jusqu’au point où on est allé soi-même, je réalise que j’ai repoussé mes limites aussi loin qu’il m’a été possible de le faire, probablement aussi loin qu’un individu puisse aller sans sombrer. Ce constat ne me donne certainement pas la permission de mettre la personne que j’accompagne en danger en voulant lui faire prendre le même chemin que moi ou à l’encourager à s’enfoncer dans la dépression pour lui permettre un hypothétique bénéfice dans sa vie professionnelle et personnelle. Cela serait non seulement contraire à ma déontologie mais représenterait également un risque pour la personne accompagnée ainsi que pour ma propre personne, tant au niveau professionnel que personnel.
 
Par contre, je peux me donner la permission d’être pleinement qui je suis, en toute authenticité et vulnérabilité, en partageant mon expérience humaine, mes résonances, mes émotions avec la personne que j’accompagne tout en m’assurant qu’elle m’y autorise et que cette « révélation de soi » (Christophe André) participe au processus d’accompagnement, ne représente pas un obstacle au cheminement de l’autre et ne conforte pas « aussi bien (ma) construction du monde que (celles de mes clients) » et ne crée pas « un système (…) où chacun aidera l'autre à ne pas changer » (Mony Elkaïm, Si tu m’aimes ne m’aimes pas, 2001, p. 145-146)
 
 
De plus, même si mon identité professionnelle me définit comme un coach accompagnant des individus par rapport à des situations problématiques au travail, je peux également accepter en toute confiance que mon action a des vertus thérapeutiques sur la personne concernée : le coaching fait partie des techniques de ce que l’on appelle les « thérapies brèves » qui ont pour but non pas de s’arrêter sur le « pourquoi » (en cherchant par exemple les origines ou les causes des névroses ou psychoses dans le parcours de vie des patients) mais sur le « pour quoi » et le « comment » nos clients peuvent améliorer leur qualité de vie au travail et, par voie de conséquence, dans les autres domaines de vie.
 
Ce constat ne me donne certes pas l’autorisation de « jouer au thérapeute » en accompagnant des personnes dont l’état psychique ne relève pas des compétences d’un coach mais bel et bien de celles d’un psychiatre ou d’un psychothérapeute. Il me conforte cependant dans le fait que je peux me donner la permission d’employer des outils thérapeutiques, tout en acceptant les limites de leur utilisation.
 
Pour conclure et dans le but d’exemplifier certains de ces instruments, j’aimerais redonner la parole à Diane Cousineau Brutsche. Dans les dernières pages de son ouvrage, elle partage en effet quelques expériences de sa pratique tout en évoquant des « gestes professionnels » de thérapeute dont j’ai envie de m’inspirer pour ma pratique de coach sensible à la présence de l’âme, que cela soit la mienne ou celle de l’autre :
 
« Si (l’accompagnement) est un lieu d'évocation de l'Âme, (il) ne peut l'être que par une relation d'Âme à Âme. Mais il faut pour cela aller à sa rencontre là où elle se trouve, dans le vide ; et on ne peut pas aller à la rencontre du vide de l'autre qu'à partir de son propre vide » (p. 156) : c’est probablement pour cette raison que le silence est un des outils les plus puissants de tout accompagnement, mais aussi un des plus exigeants.
 
La tentation est en effet grande pour le coach de remplir le vide par un éclairage théorique et/ou une analyse de la situation, prenant ainsi la casquette d’expert plus que de coach : un piège dans lequel je confesse de tomber trop souvent, histoire de me rassurer et de rassurer la personne accompagnée.
 
Car « de tels moments, qui sont au coeur même de toute expérience humaine de l'Âme, ne manquent jamais de se présenter (…) et demandent à être assumés tels qu'ils sont : comme des instants de chute. (…) Ces moments où on déçoit les attentes de (l’autre), où sa propre limite ou même ses gaffes involontaires semblent mettre en péril toute la confiance qui s'est péniblement tissée un chemin dans le coeur et l'esprit du partenaire (…) ; ces moments ressentis comme une chute, comme une rupture de ce qui jusque-là semblait bien engagé (...) Savoir déchoir est une exigence des plus redoutables mais nécessaire, autant pour (l’accompagné) que pour (l’accompagnant) »(p. 157-158).
 
L’humilité du coach semble donc un des ses principaux atouts, au risque sinon d’être vu comme un expert tout puissant, ayant réponse à toutes les interrogations de son client et le dépossédant ainsi de son autonomie et de l’expertise de sa propre vie et de son cheminement.
 
Et c’est certainement là pour moi un des plus beaux et profonds apprentissages de cette expérience dans le cadre de l’inter vision citée en début d’article : la mesure de tout ce qui me reste à découvrir et le chemin que je dois encore parcourir pour que je puisse continuer à nourrir et à réjouir mon âme et celle de la personne que j'accompagne, principal facteur de réunification et de pacification entre nos contradictions et nos tensions internes.
 
À vous toutes et tous, je souhaite une très belle suite de chemin, à la rencontre de votre âme et, donc, de vos paradoxes qui font de vous une personne vivante et vibrante, car à la fois unique et reliée à une dimension qui la transcende.

 
 

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