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Le coach, un marchand de bonheur ?


Une recherche menée en 2007 par deux disciples de Martin Seligman, père de la psychologie positive, a conclu que l’aspiration prioritaire des dix mille personnes interrogées dans quarante huit pays consiste avant tout à être heureux, loin devant la quête du sens de sa vie, l’existence du paradis ou l’obtention de la richesse.
 
J’ignore si mes client-e-s font partie de l’échantillon consulté, mais j’émets l’hypothèse que, si je leur posais la question, la réponse irait dans la même direction. Ce qui n’est guère surprenant : si les personnes que j’accompagne ont recours à mes services, c’est prioritairement pour mieux vivre une situation professionnelle qui, doux euphémisme, ne contribue en tout cas pas à leur bonheur, quand elle n’est pas carrément source de stress voire de souffrance.
 
En réponse à ce constat, d’autres études en lien à la psychologie positive aboutissent à une liste de conseils qui se basent sur ce que font les gens qui sont heureux comme, par exemple, s’entourer de gens heureux, agir pour être heureux, faire don de soi ou être optimiste.
 
Cette liste d’injonctions me questionne pourtant dans ma fonction et, plus encore, dans ma posture de coach : le fait d’accompagner une personne pour lui permettre d’être heureuse dans sa vie professionnelle et personnelle se limite-t-il à encourager les coaché-e-s à appliquer des recettes qu’on leur vendrait après les avoir déguisées et habillées derrière une liste de questions savamment tournées ?

Mon intuition et ma déontologie me disent que non, mais cela ne suffit pas à me rendre heureux. Je décide donc de trouver ma félicité ailleurs.  
 
Dans son ouvrage Du bonheur. Un voyage philosophique (Fayard, 2013), le philosophe des religions Frédéric Lenoir nous invite à découvrir ce que ce concept signifie aux yeux des différents sages dans l’Histoire, des anciens Grecs aux penseurs contemporains. En simplifiant beaucoup, toutes les écoles se rejoignent sur deux points : il n’y a pas de bonheur sans désir et on ne peut être heureux sans une nécessaire négociation entre nos désirs et notre raison, en fonction surtout de notre réalité contextuelle.
 
Si je fais le lien avec les accompagnements menés par mes soins jusqu’à ce jour, je constate que, au démarrage du moins, il y a effectivement un désir et il est dans la plupart des cas de changer le contexte ou, parfois, de contexte. C’est une attitude compréhensible et à prendre en compte, surtout lorsqu’il s’agit de situations qui sont sources de souffrances.
 
Or, toujours selon l’auteur français, toutes les études sociologiques sur le bonheur de ces trente dernières années tendent à montrer que seuls 10% des aptitudes au bonheur relève des circonstances extérieures, alors que 50% dépendent de la sensibilité de l’individu et 40% de sa capacité à fournir des efforts personnels. En – très – gros : j’ai plus de chance d’être heureux si je mets mon énergie à travailler sur ma relation à moi-même et à la situation professionnelle problématique que si je m’efforce à vouloir changer le fonctionnement de mon entreprise ou de mon patron – même si la responsabilité de ces derniers est engagée et n’est donc pas à minimiser.
 
Il s’agit par conséquent, pour le coach, d’aider la personne accompagnée à glisser progressivement d’une logique d’adaptation du contexte à ses désirs à celle d’une réflexion sur ce qui se cache derrière ces mêmes désirs – notamment ceux qui débouchent sur des objectifs trop élevés et des attentes irréalistes ou ceux qui sont restés lettre morte  – et qui participe au malheur et au bonheur au travail.
 
Ce changement de paradigme ne peut se satisfaire de conseils ou de recettes : il est le résultat d’un processus dont la finalité s’inscrit, à mes yeux, dans le courant de pensée philosophique d’un Michel de Montaigne, anti dogmatique du 16 siècle. Celui-ci soutient en effet que chacun a la liberté de trouver (en) lui-même la voie du bonheur qui lui convient, en fonction de sa sensibilité, de ses valeurs, de ses désirs ainsi que de ses forces et des ses faiblesses.

Et ce chemin-là ne se laisse ni vendre « en kit » ni définir à l’avance : il est à construire. Il s’agit là d’un acte éminemment créateur et créatif qui part de l’intérieur de la personne elle-même et qui s’oppose à toute tyrannie, y compris celle, très actuelle, du bonheur : ce dernier ne se trouve-t-il d’ailleurs pas plus dans les détours du voyage qu’arrivé à destination ?

Tiré de Psychologies Magazine, juin 2015, pages 72 à 75.


Cet article est une reprise légèrement augmentée d'un texte paru à l'origine sous la forme du "Billet du coach" sur le site de Coaching-Services (http://www.coaching-services.ch/newsletter/le-coach-un-marchand-de-bonheur)

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