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Question de sens et d’essence.


Réussir sa vie, c’est être de telle manière que sa seule présence permet aux autres de découvrir un sens à leur vie et à la vie
(Georges Haldas)
 
Depuis quelques années déjà et sans attendre que la vie m’oblige à trouver une réponse à la question, je me demandais ce que j’étais en train de réussir : ma carrière ou ma vie. Contraint à l’arrêt, j’ai dû me rendre à l’évidence que la manière dont j’essayais de solutionner ce dilemme n’était pas satisfaisante : la définition que je donnais au mot « réussir » était en effet incomplète.
 
Pendant des années, la réussite consistait pour moi principalement à donner un sens, une direction à mes projets, qu’ils soient professionnels ou privés, en me fixant des objectifs et en me donnant les moyens de les atteindre de la manière la plus efficiente (au niveau de la qualité des processus) et efficace (mesurable au degré d’atteinte des buts visés). Une perspective prioritairement réglée sur un axe horizontal et unidimensionnel.
 
Aujourd’hui, la définition de ce qu’est « réussir ma vie » s’est enrichie d’une autre dimension, plus essentielle : vivre le présent. Si les projets permettent de donner un sens en indiquant une direction à suivre, ils ne sont, à mes yeux, que des coquilles vides s’ils ne sont pas habités par le sens, par la signification que l’on donne à son « être-là ». À l’axe horizontal de la projection s’ajoute donc un axe vertical : celui de la capacité d’être présent à soi-même, car, pour le dire avec les mots de Thich Nhat Hanh, maître zen vietnamien, « l’adresse de la vie, c’est l’intersection de l’ici et du maintenant ».
 
Si la vie réside là où l’ « on porte son attention de manière délibérée au présent vivant » (Fabrice Midal) et que sa localisation semble donc un fait acquis pour de nombreux « chercheurs de sens », qu’ils soient philosophes, psychologues ou de « simples » personnes en quête de spiritualité, le fait de vivre le présent de la manière la plus consciente possible n’est pas un présent (au double sens du mot) qui tombe du ciel : il s’agit d’un art qui demande vigilance (ou, comme j’aime à l’écrire, « vie-gilance ») et attention ainsi qu’un zeste de volonté et d’autodiscipline….à chaque instant.
 
Que cela soit sur mon propre chemin de vie ou en tant qu’accompagnant du parcours d’autres personnes, je prête une grande importance au corps, véhicule principal de l’être, et, tout particulièrement aux sens : exister pleinement, c’est être attentif à ce que l’on voit, touche, entend, boit, mange, inspire et expire. C’est également être conscient de la manière dont se tient, de sa posture, des tensions ou de l’absence de tensions dans certaines parties du corps, des messages que notre enveloppe charnelle nous envoie.
 
Vivre en « pleine conscience » ne signifie cependant pas seulement être attentif à ce que l’on vit physiquement quand on agit, mais aussi – et parfois surtout – d’accueillir les signaux que notre corps nous envoie en fonction de notre vécu : les émotions. Or, si la joie semble être relativement simple à vivre, qu’en est-il de ses « sœurs d’ombre », la tristesse, la peur et la colère ? Le fait qu’elles sont encore souvent désignées comme étant des « émotions négatives » – alors qu’elles ont leur raison d’être – montre que leur acceptation n’est pas une évidence.
 
Être présent à soi-même passe à la fois par l’accueil et par la mise à distance de notre « meilleur ennemi » : le mental. Un proverbe japonais résume à mon sens assez bien l’énorme place que prend l’activité mentale dans notre vie : « L’homme vit en moyenne 100 ans et se fait du soucis pour 1000 ans ». Si, aux préoccupations, on ajoute les regrets ainsi que des sentiments comme la culpabilité ou la honte, les singes qui s’amusent à sauter joyeusement dans notre tête sont nombreux et ont encore un bel avenir devant eux. Ils peuvent donc continuer à remplir leur principale fonction : nous couper du présent et, donc, de notre être.
 
Si être présent à soi-même, c’est en effet porter une attention de chaque instant à notre corps, à nos émotions et à nos pensées, ces dernières sont aussi nos plus farouches « empêcheurs » de vivre le présent. Je ne compte plus le nombre impressionnant de fois où je surprends mes pensées à s’échapper, à vivre leur vie…et à occuper tout l’espace de la mienne ! Combien de fois m’arrive-t-il de finir une tâche et de ne plus me rappeler du tout comment j’étais arrivé à la terminer. Rien d’inquiétant quand il s’agit de se brosser les dents, mais que dire de la conduite en voiture ? Combien de fois nous laissons-nous mener par notre « pilote automatique » et nous détourner de notre vie consciente ? Combien de fois sommes-nous incapables de savourer le moment présent, entraîné ailleurs par nos pensées, quand elles ne nous disent pas que ce que nous vivons n’est pas assez ceci ou trop cela.
 
Il y a pourtant une bonne nouvelle : si « on ne peut empêcher les oiseaux de tourner au-dessus de nos têtes, on peut tout faire pour éviter qu’ils fassent leur nid dans nos cheveux ». Ce proverbe chinois nous explique non seulement que la présence de nos productions mentales est une réalité que nous ne pouvons pas empêcher d’exister, mais également que nous avons le choix de laisser s’installer nos pensées et, donc, d’en être tributaire ou, au contraire, de les regarder passer et de ne pas nous identifier à elles : « j’ai des pensées mais je ne suis pas mes pensées ». En cela, la méditation est un excellent moyen de « dés identification » de nos chers parasites mentaux.
 
Pour terminer ce petit tour d’horizon de ce que signifie pour moi réussir ma vie en étant présent à moi-même, j’aimerais parler d’une autre mise à distance : celle que j’ai été amené à faire par rapport aux personnages que j’interprète dans mes divers « théâtres » sociaux et/ou professionnels ainsi que des masques et des casquettes que le fait d’endosser ces rôles m’amène à porter.
 
En effet, être pleinement présent ne s’arrête pas à observer mon corps, mes émotions et mon mental, mais englobe également la manière dont j’habite, dont j’investis mes rôles de formateur, coach, mari ou père : il s’agit pour moi d’être le plus vrai possible, d’être à l’écoute de mes besoins et en accord avec mes valeurs. Et d’éviter ce qui m’a en partie conduit au « burn-out » : l’imposture - ou quand l’interprétation d’un personnage « sonne faux » par rapport à celui que je suis, à mes valeurs et à mes besoins et que, pour pouvoir interpréter un rôle, je me crois obligé de « sur-jouer » en donnant plus d’importance au personnage qu’à celui qui l’habite : mon être.
 
Ce n’est donc pas un hasard si j’ai choisi de me réorienter professionnellement et de donner une couleur « accompagnement » à mes fonctions. Ce choix représente non seulement un gage de cohérence entre mon être et mes rôles mais également une « assurance-vie » : pour accompagner une personne, il est à mon avis nécessaire d’être capable de s’accompagner soi-même et, pour le dire avec les mots de Laurent Gounelle, « de continuer à être altruiste en offrant son équilibre personnel aux autres ».
 
Dans ce sens, la citation de Georges Haldas qui figure en exergue à ce texte représente une de mes « étoiles » : si je veux aider les autres à avancer sur leur chemin de vie, il s’agit avant tout de continuer à travailler sur moi-même et à réussir ma vie en lui donnant une direction et, plus encore, une signification dans la présence...au présent, aux autres et à moi-même. Car, comme le dit si bien mon ami Eric Gubelmann dans le billet de Coaching-Services du mois de novembre 2013, le principal outil du coach, c’est lui-même.
 
Bonne suite de chemin….et n’oubliez pas de faire le plein d’ « essence » et de vous offrir des « présents » !
 
 
 
 

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Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I've been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.
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Casiano on Freitag, 3. Mai 2019 21:51
Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
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Casiano on Freitag, 3. Mai 2019 21:51
Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!
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