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1 + 1 = 3 ?
| Posted on 4 January, 2018 at 8:43 |
 Apparemment, un coaching individuel
se résume à un « one to one », à une rencontre entre deux personnes
dont l’une est demandeuse et l’autre disposée à mettre en œuvre des compétences
permettant à la première d’atteindre ses objectifs. Mais est-ce vraiment si
simple ? Les apparences sont paraît-il souvent trompeuses. Plusieurs
raisons me font dire que, en matière d’accompagnement, 1 + 1 = 3 : une
troisième dimension vient en effet s’inviter et elle joue un rôle primordial
dans le processus.
 J’adhère tout d’abord aux propos de
Jacques-Antoine Malarewicz[1]
lorsqu’il avance que le troisième « larron » dans un accompagnement
s’avère être le changement – et, par conséquent, le non-changement. Qu’elle
soit « acheteuse », « touriste » ou « co-pilote »,
la personne accompagnée se comporte et se positionne en fonction d’un contrat,
implicite ou explicite, dont l’objectif est de permettre à la personne d’opérer
des modifications à des niveaux plus ou moins profonds, que cela soit sur son
contexte ou, idéalement, sur elle-même. Les enjeux se situent ainsi à deux
niveaux : la volonté de (non-) changement du coaché et ma volonté de voir
l’autre changer. Si, dans la première dimension, je me demande régulièrement
dans quelle mesure je cautionne ou pas le désir de (non-) changement chez
l’autre, la deuxième dimension requiert encore plus d’honnêteté de ma part :
dans quelle mesure mes attentes vis-à-vis du changement d’autrui ne représentent-elles
pas un frein voire un obstacle au coaching ? En effet, ce n’est pas parce
que « ça » n’avance pas – sous entendu : comme j’aimerais que
« ça » avance – que « ça » n’avance pas…  Selon Guy Le Bouëdec[2], un
autre invité dans la relation coaché-coach s’avère être l’alliance entre les
deux protagonistes, une danse à deux soutenue par une mélodie composée de notes
comme la dignité et l’autonomie de chacun-e, la confiance réciproque, la
confidentialité et la crédibilité des protagonistes. Une dimension éthique et
déontologique qui engage les partenaires du contrat dans leur humanité et leur
intégrité. Dans ce sens, il m’arrive – pas assez souvent à mon goût – de
méta-communiquer avec mon vis-à-vis au sujet de mes observations et de mon
ressenti par rapport à ce que le langage verbal ou non-verbal de la personne
accompagnée génère chez moi.
Quand par exemple, lors de la
deuxième séance, je constate que ma cliente emprunte mon stylo pour effectuer
une activité écrite car elle a, comme lors de notre première rencontre, oublié de
prendre le sien, je lui fais part de mon constat ainsi que de ma surprise et
lui demande : « qu’est-ce qui fait que vous écrivez votre nouvelle vie avec mon stylo ? ». Dans ce cas, la
réflexion autour de cette question a été porteuse de fruits : lors de la
rencontre suivante, la personne accompagnée a fait preuve d’une plus grande
autonomie, tant au niveau de l’accompagnement que dans son contexte de vie.  Je terminerai cet article par évoquer
les propos de Lytta Basset[3] qui,
au moment du contrat initial, explicite qu’ « on n’est pas deux, mais
trois » : la vie, tel un fleuve au cours imprévisible, est en effet
omniprésente dans tout processus d’accompagnement. Lors de la première séance,
j’ai ainsi régulièrement recours à la
phrase « je garantis les outils, mais pas le résultat : celui-ci vous
appartient et il est également du ressort de la vie ». Un
« garde-fou » indispensable pour ma très humaine tendance à la
Toute-Puissance et un gage d’humilité pour le duo, confronté ainsi à ses
responsabilités et à ses limites. Et si, au lieu de préparer deux
verres d’eau en début de mon prochain entretien, j’en prévoyais un de plus ?
Allez ! À trois, je me lance…  [1] Malarewicz, J.-A. (2011, 3 édition). Réussir son coaching. Une approche systémique. Orléans : Pearson Education France. [2] Le Bouëdec, G. (2001). Une posture éducative fondée sur
une éthique. Cahiers pédagogiques, n°
393, avril 2001, pp. 18-20. [3] Basset,
L. (2013). S’initier à l’accompagnement
spirituel. Treize expériences en milieu professionnel. Genève : Labor
et Fides. Cet article est une version illustrée du billet du mois de septembre de Coaching-Services (http://www.coachingservices.ch/newsletter/1-1-3). La première et la dernière photographie sont celles d'une création de Andreas Lewandowski
intitulée"1+1=3 (A Meeting Between Two Creates Something New)" disponibles sur son site (http://www.andreaslewandowski.se/1-1-3) |
Categories: Fondements du coaching
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